Cautiously Optimistic: Origin
As you may have already seen, my blog name and my website handle are both “Cautiously Optimistic”.
Now, because I like to be honest I will be honest and say that my inspiration for the name was from a…. fanfiction…. I read a few years ago that used the phrase “cautiously optimistic” and I found it to be such a hoot that I thought it a perfect…. tumblr handle. Slightly embarrassing origins aside, I had never really heard that phrase before and in the moment I read it I had never found a phrase that represented me more.
If you know me you know that I am a hypochondriac with an anxiety disorder, whose biggest fear is death and disappointment and getting in dire trouble. I am the annoying friend who nags about safety and who always is a bit of a party pooper. I don’t really go out, don’t love parties, hell I don’t even drive. At this point my go to phrase has become “careful!”, like how some people say “have fun!” or “love ya!”. So, you could say I’m a littleeeee cautious.
On the other hand, I was instilled with this sense of optimism that was given to me by my father. Now my dad isn’t one of those super bubbly always positive people. He’s fun but more in a trivia night at a restaurant with people ranging from 25-50 fun. He’s a blast at the history conventions and international conferences, yknow? He’s also probably the most serious person in my family, and I used to think that meant he was a bit more of a realist. However back when I first started struggling with my anxiety, he reached out to me and told me about his own struggles and how having a bit of optimism helped him get through it. Now this isn’t the “everything will be amazing and work out and be incredible” type of optimism, it’s a more grounded “things will work out, maybe not in the way we think or want but they will work out, there is always a way”.
Now putting those two together I formed my own little philosophy, a type of cautious optimism. Believe in the best outcome, know things will work out, but also be prepared for the worst and know that things can go wrong. Never really put all of your hope onto one thing, its optimism with a sprinkle of realism. Yes, a lot of it comes from my anxiety and I have a very toxic way of thinking that there will always be another shoe to drop, that good things can never just happen. I’m slowly deconstructing that way of thinking. Where I know good things can happen, and a little hesitation is okay some caution can protect me but too much makes it so that I don’t enjoy life.
So thats one of my philosophoes for myself, I think it encapsulates a lot of how I think and deal with things. I’ve unlearned a lot f my fear and my doubts about the good things that are given to me by life, I’ve learned to accept them and welcome them and embrace them instead of always waiting for a downfall. I still approach with a careful caution but the optimism that I have gets me through everything. I know things will work out, I know it in my heart.
